As I have been preparing a Yule ritual for my coven, I have been reflecting and meditating on Yule. As a boy I was raised in the Byzantine Catholic Church. What is Bzyzantine you ask???Well if the christians call the Lutheran Church "Catholic Lite", then the Byzantine sect of the church would be "Catholic Guinness". I'm sure you get the picture without me using this as an opportunity to tell my life's story. Anyway, I was enthralled with the "Christmas Story" as told in the gospels, and even more intrigued by the ceremony and reverence given to the season within the church. As the years passed my interest waned, and eventually I was concumed by the consumerism of it all.

A few years before taking my first steps on the path I walk along today I returned to the church hoping to rekindle some of that magick I had experienced in my youth. My eldest child was 4 at the time, and I thought the calling I felt in my heart was from the church of old...the one I knew as a child in this mundane life. I remember feeling empty following the services leading up to Christmas. There was more talk of coffee clutches, shopping trips, etc. Hell, even the giving tree in the vestibule was still strewn with needy children's names. I remember placing our items there for a less fortunate child and thinking more about those who would go without. My son and I were happy to give, but I was saddened as many more folks passed by with little or no regard for the names that hung there untouched.

I continued going to the services up until Christmas Eve. I continued to feel more and more repelled from that which I thought had been attracting me. I didn't quite understand what I was feeling back then, but I certainly understand it now. I didn't know at that time that the Goddess and God were speaking to me. I felt their pull, although I knew not from where. It's funny, as I write this I feel as if they weren't so much pulling me as much as they were showing me that which I really did not desire or need in my life.'

The thing that I desired was an opportunity to really experience the magick of the season. I thought that it came in the guise of reverent church services, structured giving, etc. Today I know how wrong I was. Thus, I resolve to live in every moment of the Yule season now. Observing it as I know many of my ancestors may have done hundreds of years ago. Watching and enjoying each day getting a little bit shorter. The darkness a bit darker, and rather than feeling the biting cold of the air on my skin as I leave for work in the morning- I feel the warmth of the Goddess Mother's womb as she prepares to give birth again to the Sun King. It is absolutely extraordinary to immerse myself in thinking about this event that happens year after year as the Great Wheel continues to turn and turn.

I do not regret that which I learned and experienced as a child. I appreciate it because it has helped me really feel and understand the true meaning of the Yule season. Will I still give gifts to those I know, or dont know? Sure, but I will do so because of the gift that is given to us with the return of the Sun, and not because I feel obligated. Will I still attend a service or two? No, but I will conduct a ritual for myself and my family that is worthy of the return of the Sun King, and with it we will experience the joy and happiness of the season as it was meant to be without worrying if our Sunday best is "best enough". Will I visit with family and friends? Indeed I will, and I will enjoy the energy and laughter that comes with friends meeting for friends sake and enjoying one another's company. Will I drink a little holiday? Nope. I will drink a lot of holiday cheer and toast the return of the Sun. Will I tell my children a christmas story? You bet I will, but it will be a bard's tale of the Yule Season filled with crafty visions of the Holly King, and melodic verse that brings wonder and joy to my children's eyes.

So where have I been going with this blog? If you have to ask this question, read it again...maybe even once more after that for good measure. The point of this is to get you thinking about your past. What did Yule used to mean in your life? Is that meaning congruent with where you are today on your path through this life. If so, great. If not, then take it back. Look at what it used to mean to you, and take a little time to reflect and be grateful for the meaning you find in it today. After all, had you or I not experienced the Yule season in a way that was not pagan, we may very well not appreciate and understand the significance of it all in our lives today.

Yule Blessings to You and Your's.

~Curran