One of the more interesting events I have experienced as I've walked my path is the heightened awareness of who I am. Not because of the lessons that I have learned, or the books I have read. Rather, I am referring to getting in touch with who I "was". I remember once being told that the answers to the questions I seek were already inside. I needed only to look within.
As time has passed over these last few years I have learned much from looking within myself. Most interesting are the glimpses of where I may have walked before. Meeting friends from other ages. Recognizing as you shake their hand, or hug them for the first time in this life that you've known each other in another time and another place. I believe this is one of the greatest gifts that the Goddess bestows upon us. Not only the ability to carry lessons from past lives into the new, but also the ability to spiritually recognize those you have lived, loved, and laughed with before.
My most profound experience regarding this mystery is in my friendship with John "Chad" Chadwick, and his wife Caileah. I met them, again, at Ceremony Leather. I had recently moved to Arizona, and was having a hard time finding like minded people to associate myself with. It was tough, but when I walked into Ceremony I knew something special had just happened. Chad was behind the counter helping folks. When the place cleared out I introduced myself, and shook his hand. In that very instance I knew an "old" friend and I had found one another again. I felt the same when I met Caileah for the first time, and asked her if I could join her Year and a Day class. You see I was only a seeker at that point in time in this life. As the fates would have it I found my friend, as well as my teacher of old.
Nearly a week ago I had the opportunity to spend some time with Chad before he crossed over again into the Summerlands. While he looked nothing like I will always remember him, his eyes and his hands endured the illness that inevitably took him from this world on Tuesday, November 4th. Chad crossed over while I was on a plane over Lake Michigan. Earlier that morning before I left Arizona I grieved for him. While the emotions of this life, and ages passed poured forth, I wrote an ode to my dear friend. In remembrance of him, I have shared it below. As this life continues to unfold withe turning of the Great Wheel, I can only hope and be aware of the chance meetings that are still yet to occur with friends and family from ages ago.
Ode to An Old Friend
My beautiful and dear friend
with your laughing eyes and flowing black hair,
it's good to see you again.
How quickly our paths crossed,
only to come to an abrupt end.
It's happened before-
surely it will happen again.
I have known you through the ages,
though now I can't say where,
and I can't exactly say when.
In my mind's eye you are many things.
The innkeeper,
welcoming the weary with comfort,
the promise of a restful sleep.
You are the shaman of old
offering counseling and healing,
filling a seekers darkness with light.
You are the warrior,
a chivalrous knight.
A protector of those you love,
a defender of what is right.
A craftsmen for the ages,
your hands fashion many things.
Through the goods you've created,
your legacy remains ageless.
A protector of your brothers and sisters,
an angelic guardian,
never backing from a challenge,
standing at the ready in the shadowy night.
While our time in this life was fleeting,
painfully cut short,
our friendship goes on,
and will continue through the ages.
I cannot say goodbye right now,
I can only wish you well.
For we will meet again,
in another time, in some other place.
I will know you by the laughter in your eyes,
the warmth and strength of the handshake.
It will only be then,
that our paths will cross again.
Fare thee well John Chadwick,
My brother, my friend-
Blessed Be,
until we meet again.