I usually use this forum as a way to air pagan ideals.  I voice my concerns and misgivings, hopes and joys, and everything in between in regards to our community.

Right now, I just can't seem to do that.

You see, change is on the horizon.  I can feel it in my bones, smell it on the wind, and taste with every sip of life.  I've been trying to prepare for it.  However, it doesn't seem to be coming as quickly as I had anticipated.  I'm willing and eager and anxious for this new chapter to begin.  I've had this feeling of being in the doldrums for a while now.  My foot is on the accelerator, but my tires are spinning.  While I can feel it, I can't quite make out what this change is going to be.  I'm getting no glimmer of shape or form; and I am to the point that I would almost rather be blindsided than have to live with this anticipation any longer.  I just wish I could get it over with already.

I ask for guidance and get no reply.  I try to divine and get conflicting readings.  I talk it out with friends and no one has a clue.  Why is it I can't get a straight answer??

When I have personal issues, I usually just focus and meditate and ask the God and Goddess to let me know what the heck is going on.  I pretty much always get a very clear answer.  As it stands, I'm getting nothing on this.  Not only that, but my tarot is coming up all Minor Arcana.  There is no big Fate card.  What I gather from this is that there is still personal action to be taken.  Not only on my part, but on the part of those who are tangled in this section of the Wyrd with me.  Wearily along, we trudge.  To what end, we know not.

So, as far as I can tell, it is not just my indecision and inability to make sense of things that is hindering me.  It is waiting on whoever else to work through issues, as well.  I'm not used to being interdependent with people, so this is quite a scary concept.  Even within the coven, we are a bunch of strong and independent individuals.  We could practice on our own, but we just happen to like each other and enjoy celebrating together.  We don't do it because it is necessary, but because we want to.  Now, it seems that it will be out of neccessity that I interact with people, and on a more personal level than I am accustomed.  Egad.

And I guess that's my answer.  It's been "me against the world" for so long that, perhaps, now it is time to learn what it is like to be "us with the world".  By the grace of the Goddess may I learn these lessons and come through this with minimal damage.

Pánta eteléutêsan

*~Delphy~*